I know it has been a long time since I posted, and I am very sorry to those of you who have been following and reading faithfully.
But…..and this is a really big but. It looks as though I will not be posting on my blog as often as I would like to anymore.
It seems I’ve come to this point with my writing and my blog where I have questions that need to be answered.
Do I want to write, just to write?
Or do I want to focus on trying to get published?
How much time can I realistically set aside for writing?
Have I lost sight of my purpose for writing?
Yes, I told you it was big.
It also saddens me just a little. Because what I have come to realize is that writing has become a chore, one more thing that I have to do during my day. That is not what I wanted when I began this journey a few years ago.
When this started, when the seed began to grow in my heart, all I wanted was to give people something. I wanted to help them, the way I had been helped by countless books and speakers over the years. I wanted to be instrumental in helping people to make real changes in their life. I wanted to do for someone what had been done for me.
I remember countless times getting to the end of a book, whether it was fiction or non-fiction and being overwhelmed by what and how it made me feel. I have sat in the audience listening to someone speak with goosebumps running up my arms and butterflies in my stomach as what they said resonated with me.
And I wanted that. I wanted to do that for someone else. Is that selfish? Or self-serving?
I’m still not sure.
What I do know is that there is a time for everything and right now, as hard as I am trying, it is not my time. I have received the rejections. I have gotten the “no thank you” from the agents. Of course I could go the self-publishing route, nowadays who needs a publishing house right? However the financial output for something like that is just not in the budget right now.
So the question at this point becomes, “am I content with just writing in obscurity?” Would I be willing to write, just to write without an agenda, without a plan. It goes against all the information I have read or heard regarding this crazy world of publishing. Everything out there says I must write on a regular schedule, I must build a platform, I need to create a “tribe” or following. To do that I must have a set posting schedule on my blog, I must be getting a certain number of hits, I should be twittering and have a fan page on Facebook. I should create my own e-book, and Kindle app. According to the experts I must be constantly networking to get my message out, if I want to ever see it hardcopied and on bookshelves.
All things that will not happen if I stop posting here.
Here’s the flip side……..which I love to look at by the way.
Doing all of that could boost my potential to get published, but it could also cost me more than I am willing to pay right now.
I have to admit this, because of course this is the one place where I can be completely open.
It has been such a relief not posting these past couple of weeks. There I said it. There has been a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. The pressure of having to be posting along with everything else that I have to do, was just too much. Unfortunately I am just not one of those people who can do everything all at one time. I am a one thing at a time person. The stress of being overstretched is not something I am equipped to handle. It is hard for me to say that, but it is the truth. I have never been able to be a person who has hundreds of balls in the air, I would much rather just throw up one ball at a time, see it go up straight and high, then be sure I can catch when it returns. I know that is not what most people do with their lives, but it is what keeps me sane. Too much on the “to do list” makes me crazy and stressed and angry.
I don’t want to be like that.
This my list:
My relationship with God.
My children: Homeschooling my son. Being available for my teenage daughter.
Hands Stitching 4 Jesus Ministry.
Writing and pursuing publishing,
Writing was the only thing that could be removed from the list. Everything else is not negotiable.
Now, I will not be giving up writing all together. I don’t think I could do that. I’ve opened that gate now and there isn’t any way for me to close it and still be me. No, I won’t be quitting writing all together. I will be cutting back. As of right now I do not have any idea what or how I will be posting here. I would like to continue with the Movie Quote devotions and I have several ones for Christmas floating around in my head that I would like to write. I would also like to set aside one day to continue my gratitude list and share it here with you. Other than that, I don’t know what my schedule will be or how often I will be able to get something up here. (If anyone out there has any tips on organizing and scheduling your life I could use a little help in this area.)
My suggestion to my readers would be to sign up to get my blog posts by email. You can do this with the prompt right at the top of this page on the left side. Or you can friend me on Facebook. Each time I post I will put something on Facebook letting people know so they can hop on over.
Thank you all so much for being patient and not giving up on me or this blog. I appreciate each and every one of you who read and support me.
Hoping you have a wonderful Thanksgiving…..