Saturday, October 22, 2011

Day 22

The First One

I did it.

Yesterday I wrote down my first item on my gratitude list. Not only did I write it here on this blog, but I found the little notebook I bought months ago and with my favorite pencil, wrote the first of what I hope will be a long list of gratitude. It wasn’t easy. Not because I wasn’t ready, I believe I am. No, the difficulty came in what would be the very first one.  I see the first one as an important one. And I would be lying if I didn’t feel the slightest bit of envy at the way Ann describes her gifts on her list. Comparison is really what killed the cat I think.

I thought about it, fretted over it, even tossed the first few. But this morning, when the alarm blared and I struggled to come to life after being up late last night with work, turned the alarm off and drifted back to sleep…….when I awoke 15 minutes later, then another 10 minutes after that, my first groggy thoughts of the day were……

Thank you God. 

Thank you for never letting me over sleep. Thank you for giving me the strength to get out of this bed every morning when all I really want to do is roll over and shut out the world for a few more hours. Thank you for giving me one more day on this earth with my husband and children and friends.

And that is when I knew what my first item on the list would be. Because without that Godly alarm clock that gets me up each day, I could never do what I do. Sleeping and laziness is not an option. Laziness in daily life gives way to laziness in all things. Now, of course I am not against having a lazy, sleeping in, restful day every once in a while, but only if schedule permits.  Which is usually on a weekend. During the week there is much to do and without that daily nudge from God to get up and get going, it would be all too easy to not do what needs to be done every day. My Godly alarm clock also keeps me in check with daily Bible reading and prayer. Two very important things that without could lead to a big deficit in my life.

Now that I am over the stress of putting the first item down I can move on and enjoy this more.

I have noticed other things I want to write down.

I am still treading lightly and slowly with this though. I do not want to rush. I want to take my time and let it seep into my heart and soul in such a way as to know it will set up camp and stay.

So I continue with one a day. One at a time. One small line of a few words.

One small step away from my closed off fearful heart toward a heart full of gratitude and joy open to all God has to offer.

2. A child’s note after a night of work


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