Today, I'm thinking about alot of things.
I've known all along that our moving to Virginia was for a bigger purpose than any of the reasons we had for moving.
It should be about more than just wanting our children to have the opportunity to go to college. It could even be more than wanting my husband to have an opportunity to advance in his job.
One thing I never wanted to think it was about was me. It felt selfish to think that part of the purpose of us moving involved anyting that might have to do with me.
But today I'm wondering about that. Today I'm daring to dream a little about what opportunities I could possible have in this move.
I didn't ever want to be a selfish person. I try hard not to think about myself. I try not to be self serving. I want to give of myself sacrificially and without any inner motives.
There is a part of me though, that hopes a little that there might be something here for me.
Recently I sort of fell into substituting in the library at the kid's school. I say fell into it, because I was simply volunteering there one morning as usual. The current library assistant just came back from being out for four months with an injury. She went out on medical leave within a few weeks of school starting. I hadn't been volunteering for very long and didn't know her well then, so becoming her permanent substitute during her medical leave wasn't an option for me. When she came back recently and I came in to do my normal volunteering, she mentioned that she was only back for half days. She was having a hard time moving all of the classes to the afternoons and the person who had subed for her while she was out couldn't work half days.
I immediately felt that little flutter in my gut telling me to open my mouth and speak. I didn't want to seem forward so I was reluctant to say anything. However I am trying to be more obedient when I feel that nudge from God. So I spoke up and told her that I could work half days.
Fast forward to now. I've been the substitute every morning for the month of February.
And guess what?
I absolutely love it. I had no idea that working in the library could be so enjoyable. I don't know how I could have not realized that this a perfect job for me. I get to read to kids every day, I get to choose the books that we read to them, I recommend books to kids when they are looking for something and I can't talk with them afterward about the stories. I have lengthy discussions about books with the current librarian. And when I have time between classes I can read. I also get to bring books home to preview before we read them to the kids.
I feel like I finally found where I fit. There are other people who like to talk about books like me. There is someone else who reads everything the same way I do. I'm not weird or strange. I'm not the only one.
So, where am I going with this? Well, Mrs. Kirshberger, the current elementary librarian is planning to retire sometime in the near future.
Can you believe that?
My husband and Mrs. Kirshberger have encouraged me to talk with the school about the possibiliy of being considered for the position. I initially thought I might have to go back to school and get my degree in library science. But how bout this......her position is considered and aid position. The woman who runs the upper school library is the official school librarian. So I wouldn't need a degree at all. The official requirements for the job are that the person "love working with children and love books"
Looks like I'm qualified. I was told by the principal that he would definately consider me when the time came.
And then here's a few other little oddities that have happened recently.
My husband bought me a gift for valentine's day. A while back he found a book company that puts real people into books. You know, they use my name and description of me as the main character in all these different stories. They use him to. It's actually really neat. Anyway, he ordered me one recently and they made me a librarian in the book. I thought he did that because of the sub job, but he said no he didn't do it. It was pure coincidence.
Then last night when we went to church. My husband went to the Bod 4 God class. They use small groups to discuss different issues and questions. Get this....in my husband's group last night......the librarian for Liberty University!
Just too weird for me, too coincidental, to not pay attention.
So I wonder is that part of our purpose here? For me to have this job? Right now I just don't know. But I know I am glad I spoke up and opened my mouth.
And how does writing fit into all of this? Because I'm sure that God hasn't closed that door either. I haven't had any indication from Him that He doesn't want me to continue writing and pursuing publishing.
Is there room for both? Can I handle both?
Oh, my head is spinning with all the possibilities.
And my heart is struggling with any part of this being about me.
That's what I'm thinking today. How bout you?