I don't like to question God. Really, I don't. I know that I am in His sovereignty every day. There's no need to question. Everything that goes on in my life and those around me is directed by His hand.
I believe it.
However, I'm in a funk this week and I can't help but question God. It's been going a little something like this.
I know that Psalm 139:14 is true. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.
I do, really I do.
Why, oh why must I suffer every month with these awful symptoms? Headaches, insomnia, bloating, cramping, mood swings, fatigue (in various orders). Why, oh why is there not something that can be done to ease this discomfort? Twenty-six long years of this, month after month, worsening each year with no end in sight.
I am thankful you created me. I am even thankful for the way that you created me (that one has taken awhile to admit). Psalm 139:13 (NIV) For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb
Your creations are all good. Genesis 1:31a (NASB) God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.
Nothing I'm going through is out of your sight. Your hand is on everything. Job 12:10 (NASB) In whose hand is the life of every living thing, And the breath of all mankind?
I don't like this. I don't like feeling this way month after month. It's awful. I can do nothing on my own to make things better. All medical methods are being utilized.
I can only call upon You now. You are the only thing that can sustain me.
Psalm 18:6 (NASB) In my distress I called upon the LORD, And cried to my God for help; He heard my voice out of His temple, And my cry for help before Him came into His ears
I am thankful that you are with me. I do not go through anything alone. Joshua 1:9 (NASB) Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you
I can rest in that. Matthew 11:28 (NASB) Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.
Hmmm, I think I feel better already. You see what a little communication does?
P.S. I think some vitamins and a nap may also be helpful so if you don't mind, God I'll do that to.
Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us