Well, it's been one week since my children started school. Today I dropped my son off to his class and I didn't have to stay for a few minutes to see if he was alright. He walked right in and waved goodbye. He didn't get sick on the way to school either.
And no, I didn't cry, but I wanted to. Because in that moment I saw God's love played out. In just seven days, my son is able to walk into his classroom confident that everything will be ok. We've been talking about God because of his nervousness. I showed him how to use Biblegateway.com to look up scriptures. He wrote a few down a few and posted them in his locker.
Things seem to be better for him.
As for me.
I've been thinking alot lately about my purpose for wanting to write and speak. I've been trying to find my "voice" or my "platform" as they call it. I'm supposed to ask myself "Why I want to write or speak?" "What is it I want to tell people?" "What is my message?" I've been thinking about it and praying ALOT about it. There's nothing like a dilema in your life to get you praying. Right?
I keep coming back to love. You see, most of my life I have struggled with this concept. I have either not known how to love, or I have not felt loved, or I have looked for love in the wrong places. In my marriage and with my children many of my repeated sinful behaviors can be traced back to not showing love properly. Many of the not so nice things from my past can be traced back to not feeling loved.
What I have learned in the last 10 years or so, is God loves me. He has loved me all along I just didn't realize it. He is with me everyday. He works in my life in amazing ways just to show me his love. And even though I feel like my life is ordinary and completely unspecial, He is still there loving me, in the midst of all that ordinary.
That's where the title of my blog came from originally. I was starting to see His amazing work in my ordinary life and I wanted to talk about it here. I think my "voice" was there form the begining, I just didn't know it till now. I just knew I had situations where I saw God working or speaking to me through ordinary things and I wanted to write about it.
That's what I want people to know. I want to help people who struggle with feeling unloved. I want to show them how to see God in everything. I want them to know the truth of His love, not the world's version of love. So they can live it out and put an end to the cycle that we so often find outselves in.
We don't feel loved, so we don't know how to love, so we act unloving to others.
It is a rotten way to live, quite honestly and I have wasted too many years living that way. There are times when I am afriad it is too late, that I have ruined so much up till now that I will never be able to make things right. There's a phrase that keeps popping into my head whenever I think it is too late for something.
I've seen this phrase used in other devotions and blog posts before and it has just stayed with me. It is a phrase that has alot of power, I think.
He says it's never too late.
Ecclesiastes 8:12 (NASB) Although a sinner does evil a hundred times and may lengthen his life, still I know that it will be well for those who fear God, who fear Him openly.
Instead of having regret and being afraid (pirate fear) that it is too late, I need to accept forgiveness and be obedient (God fear) and move forward.
Use what I've learned in my own life, and show others how they can do the same.
Ok, so what do you all think? I would really love your opinions on what I'm thinking my direction might be. I'm a little scared even thinking about having a specific focus. That makes it real. That means I have to really work. It means I have to start to really live out.
But seriously, I value your opinions. Also, you may or may not notice I've been doing some changing in the layout of my blog page. At the top under the picture you will find tabs for different pages of my blog. I have moved the About Me, and Books I've Enjoyed sections from the side to here. I have also updated the About Me section and added some of the things I put in this post (and yes at somepoint I will add a real picture). There is also a My Testimony page which is self explanatory.
I have created a schedule for my posts in case you hadn't noticed.
Monday-Movie Quote Monday
Friday-Miscellanious (any suggestions?)
I won't be posting on Saturday or Sunday. I will be using them to prepare upcoming posts.
Ok, I just thought I'd fill you in on some things. What we've been up to and stuff. I didn't expect some of what came out today.
Sometimes this blog thing just has a mind of it's own.