Today it really hit me.
I'm going to the She Speaks Conference in two days.
Oh goodness! I'm having myself a little internal meltdown.
This morning I took some time to work on some of the things I've written. I'm participating in a writer's critique group and I need to bring a 750 world article that I would submit to a christian magazine. I took the article that I wrote to enter into the She Speaks scholarship contest a few months ago and edited it down for the group. I'm at 742 words. I had to finally stop re-reading it because I just kept making changes and the word count kept going up and down. I was driving myself nuts. I finally hit print and that was that.
I also typed out a list of ideas I've had for other books, which I'll bring with me to my meeting with Cecil Murphey.
I have to take a deep breath just to type those words. The idea of meeting with someone who is published and who is what I would consider an expert in writing and publishing, is just overwhelming to me.
I'm supposed to bring a list of questions to ask, but I'm drawing a blank.
What in the world am I going to wear?!!! I've been fretting over this for weeks now. I think I have it decided. But I'm so unsure. I keep second guessing. The dress code for the weekend is "business casual". Good Grief!! I'm a house wife who homeschools. Business casual for me is anything other than my pajamas.
This is like being in high school all over again. I don't have a pair of Jordache jeans like all the other girls and I can't get my hair to do that cute feather flip hairstyle!!!!!
I was seriously thinking this whole weekend is going to be a disaster.
Then I get this email from one of the women who organizes the conference. I follow her blog. Here's what it said:
Thirteen years ago, tears slipped down my cheeks as I placed the last few items in my suitcase. I was headed to the CBA conference since renamed ICRS hosted for Christian writers, publishers and booksellers.
Tucked between my outfits and earrings were notes for a message I'd be giving and a book proposal I was pretty sure I'd put together incorrectly. The next few days would be jam packed with things outside my normal world. There would be evaluations, seminars, publisher meetings, and sore feet shoved in ridiculously uncomfortable shoes.
My printer was on the blink and printed everything I needed slightly crooked. I'd been snappy with my husband when he couldn't fix the printer and now I was feeling horrible. I felt scared, stressed, and uncertain why I ever thought attending this conference was a good idea.
Maybe you can relate.
Sweet sister, can I put your heart at ease? Right now, the Proverbs 31 Ministries She Speaks prayer team is praying for you by name. The office staff is putting together a packet of registration materials with your name on it. There is a badge being printed with your name on it.
There are slips of paper being prepared for the conference prayer room and one of those slips has your name on it.
Your name. The name that the Lord says is engraved on the palm of His hand. Your name.
There is a reason your name is on the registration list for She Speaks.
There is a reason the Lord has opened the door for you to attend this year's She Speaks conference. More than the evaluations, seminars, and appointments my prayer is that the Lord will meet you personally and intimately at the conference. I pray you never forget how you experience Him during our time together.
Can you believe that? I get goose bumps everytime I read it. Yes, I have re-read it dozens of times since I got it. I know she sent this out to everyone who is attending the conference, but it was as if I was the only one reading it.
And I guess I should stop worrying and just go see what the Lord has for me. I should just be thankful that I have to opportunity to go. Whether or not I think my writing is good enough or my outfits are good enough, or for that matter my skin and hair are good enough, I am going to the conference because God wants me there.
Yes, that's it. That's all I need to hang onto.
Before I was born, God planned for me to go.
And he has a reason for me being there.
Cecil Murhpey has a meeting with ME at 12:45 on Saturday.
The house wife, homeschooling, struggling with food and weight issues, Christian woman who spends the day in her pajamas.
oh, good grief God really is amazing!!!