Saturday, July 11, 2009

A time for change

Change is good right? That's what I've always heard. And yet as much as I agree with that statement, change, now matter how good or bad always scares me.

We are making some major changes in the Bozzo household. Beginning this year I will be homeschooling my children. Up till now, they have both been in a wonderful christian school which we all loved. However, at this time we are unable to afford to send the kids back this year.

Honestly, we have never been able to afford this school. But each year God provided a way for us to send them there. The most recent way was me being employed full time there. I worked in the school office full time for two years. Last summer I decided to leave that job and take a part time job at my church in the children's ministry department. We knew when I left that job that we may face this in the future.

I had to leave that job. It just wasn't a good fit for me. I was able to do the work without any problem, even though I had never done anything like it before. It's just that working full time didn't work for me and my family. I found I couldn't be the wife and mother that God wanted me to be while working a full time job. It was a long, hard, two years.
Many mornings I left the house crying, and so did the kids.
My husband was lonely.
The house was a mess.
Everyone was unhappy all the time.
After much prayer and bible reading, it became clear to me that I could no longer work full time.

I love my job now! That was something I could never say before. I feel like I've finally found a job that fits me. It is such a nice atmosphere to work in. When I first began praying about finding another job, I didn't know what kind of job I wanted. Over the course of my adult years I've worked many different jobs. One day my husband asked me what I wanted to do. I said I didn't know but I wanted something that was flexible so I could still take care of our home, I wanted to work with people who were nice and fun, and I wanted to do something creative. Well, be careful what you pray for. Can you believe that is exactly the kind of job I have now? I work three days a week, with some of the most nicest people I've ever known, and I spend most of my time working in a publisher program to create sunday school handouts, posters and brochures for our children's ministry department. The only downside, if there was one, is the pay is not what it was with my job at the school.
But that is to be expected, it is only a part time job.

Now here it is a year later and we have come to the point we were hoping not to. The money just isn't there this year for tuition. And there hasn't been any indication that is going to show up either. My kids were very upset at first. When we first began talking about homeschooling, there was some resistance on my daughter's part. My son was instantly excited about the idea. Since then my daughter has come around, although it has been slow and I still am not sure how she will handle it. It's mostly because of not seeing her friends everyday. We couldn't help it though, we had no peace about putting them in the local public school and it seem everywhere we turned we were coming back to homeschooling. Then I read a few books about it and I was sold.

But then I had to wonder. Was I supposed to give up my job to stay home full time to homeschool? I really don't want to. I liked it that much. And I knew I was doing this job because God clearly made it happen. But how can I home school if I'm not home part of the time during the week? This summer my daughter has taken on the responsibility of babysitting her brother for the 3 hours I work 3 days a week. I will need to bump that up to 4 hours in the fall, but I think it will work. I've talked with my boss and he has been very understanding. He is absolutely willing to work something out so I can still work and homeschool.

So we will see how it goes. I'm a little nervous and scared but excited too. I'm looking forward to spending more time with my kids. My prayer is that it will bring us closer.
But oh, what a change it is going to be!

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