Next Assignment-Put into practice what I am learning. The bible says "don't just read it, do it".
Sounds easier said then done. In order to tell you what I'm doing, I have to back up a little bit to before I started this mission. Our church did a series for husbands and wives recently. The book that was referenced for the women was "Feminine Appeal" by Carolyn Mahaney. One night the speaker (our pastor's sister) said to us "What will you children, your husband and the people around you remember and say about you when you are gone?" Now she wasn't not talking about being concerned with the world's opinion of you. She was talking about, as a believer in Christ, does how we behave, how we respond to our children, our husbands, the people around us(believers or not) reflect what we believe? That statement stayed with me for days after.
Than a few weeks later as I am reading the emails from Nancy DeMoss's "30 Day True Woman Challenge", on the topice of being committed to our marriage and she quoted a women who had commented on she had learned from Nancy. The woman said people had described her as "harsh". When she realized that was people's and her husband's opinion of her, she knew she had to make a change.
Do you remember what I said last sunday? Change is not easy. It takes making a concience choice to ask God for his help, and to actually accept it. We cannot effectively make any real change without the help of God. But we have to make the choice. I have made the choice to make every effort to ask God to change me and how I handle my relationships with my family.
How does this translate into the everyday? When I've reached my breaking point with my children, I need to remember how I handle the situation is what they are going to remeber. Losing my temper and control is only going to give them the message that I'm a hypocrite. I know that sounds harsh, but I think it's the truth. I cannot "preach" to my children about God honoring behavior if I'm not willing to portray God honoring behavior myself. I've also tried to remember that is is ok, to give myself time to calm down if I am too angry to handle a situation. And I need to remember to allow God into the situation. I cannot handle it on my own. If I am ever going to model God honoring behavior I have to be willing to honor God.
As far as my relationship with my husband, same goes. Some of the things I have been doing is to remind myself of how blessed I have been by him. I am making myself available for him and his needs as often as possible. I am trying not to be resentful of everything I have to do around the house, because I know he is working equally as hard at providing for our family in a way that allows me the freedom to be able to be home to do all the work that I am doing around the house. He is truly a "one of a kind" husband. Remembering all the times I have mistreated him and seeing how he still loves me and doesn't let my bad behavior effect his behavior is remarkable. I'm also taking notice when he does things to help me without wanting him to do more.
Now I'm not saying either one of us is perfect all the time. However, this is about me right now and I am responsible to God for me. The wonderful thing is, the more God changes me, the more he changes my husband to. It's almost inevitable.
I hope some of this is helpful. The bottom line is this: In order to be the woman God wants me to be, not only do If have to know what God wants me to do, I have to actually do it, no excuses I am responsible for me. Do it and do it everyday and keep doing it.
But don't do it alone. Even the best "agents" have a right hand man for help during their mission. Let God not only be your right hand man, but your left hand, right foot, left foot, head, mouth.... you get the picture.